Today feels like a holiday. Not a good holiday though. One that everyone else celebrates but you. It’s called Super Bowl Sunday. What a joy. I don’t watch football, and I can’t muster up the strength to care that it’s even taking place. I realize this makes me unpopular… so I spent some time wrapping up my final assignments for BIS219. I submitted my final PowerPoint presentation even though I wasn’t 100% happy with the final product, and as it turns out I did much better than I thought I would. Super Bowl Sunday… pft. I told my family about the Alaska internship and my mom sounded like she was happy… but I don’t think she was. I understand they are probably disappointed that my internship directly interferes with my yearly trip home to New York. My new plan is to visit after my internship is up in October… either that, or wait until Christmas and spend December there. I feel like this is as close to a blessing as it gets and I can’t let my guilt issues interfere with my excitement.
I’m still not all together sure exactly what I’ll be doing once I finish the internship. Our lease on the Oakland apartment is up in July and I’m not sure Stacy wants to stay here when it’s up… especially if I’m not here. Chances are, she could move while I’m working in Alaska. What if I don’t want to move where she is when I’m done? I didn’t particularly care for Oakland and I’ve been here for seven months. These are things I will have to strongly consider. My path is getting clearer, and I think a few months in a new place… doing something I’ve always wanted to do is going to help out a lot. I really do miss my family… but there is so much I need to do… and since I’m not afraid of being on my own… and I’m not afraid of the struggle and the challenges… I have to do it.